Welcome back and
thank you for coming back once again to read another part of my
story. Today I am going to talk about what I did during my teenage
years outside of school for I tried to do everything I could, just
like everyone else for at this point I hated being different and
really hated having the CMT.
I had been a part of
Girl Scouts from as soon as I could join and stayed with them right
up until I completed my Junior year of High School. I just had a
hard time finding the time for Senior Girl Scout meeting while in
High School because of the school work and job plus not to mention it
wasn't really all that cool anymore among my peers. All through out
my Girl Scouts years, I was able to take part of the camping trips
and hikes, though it got harder as I got older. Though it was not
cool among my peers outside of Scouts I also found the most
acceptance among my peers who were in Girl Scouts.
One summer, between
my Freshman and Sophomore year in High School I was able to be a part
of a Wider Op (Opportunity) through the Girl Scouts. This was a
chance to go to another state with a number of other Girl Scouts from
around the country, to camp for a week or two. I found a Wider Op
that I was able to physically be able to a part of because I didn't
have to be able to meet certain physical levels that was to take
place in Wyoming. For the first time I was being accepted for who I
was, and I didn't have to deal with the concern and pity from my
peers like I did in school.
I have several
wonderful memories from those two weeks such as getting left behind
on a hike. That was a lesson that I didn't take to heart until I was
much older, but a lesson was learned none-the-less. That lesson I
learned but didn't take to heart right away was to speak up when I
was getting behind in a group, for if I don't speak up then I am
going to be left behind and it would be my own fault. Yes, I was
left behind because I was too stubborn to speak up, which left me
with some alone time to realize that by being stubborn as I was, I
could have been in a world of hurt. Sure I knew that someone would
come back for me at some point because there were adults who were
responsible for me but anything could have happened before that point
such as coming across a rattler or fallen. I knew enough to say on
the path the others took for that is where I would be found a whole
lot easier. Oh I got a lecture from the adult leaders, in private,
for I went on the walk knowing that I might have issues but never
spoke up so that a buddy would have been set up for we were not to be
alone out in the vast desert alone period and that I needed to be
more responsible for myself. Well I didn't go on any long hikes like
that again and there were other girls who were willing to be my
partner from that time on so that I would never be left behind again
by myself. It was really the first time when girls my age were
willing to hold themselves back a little so that I wouldn't be alone.
I remember other
special moments from this two week experience such as playing
football with my shoe (my shoe was the only brown shoe that looked
like a football), and I was barefoot and I didn't sit on the
sidelines for this game. I was an active player, though not good in
the slightest little bit, but I played any how. I remember
attempting a really rugged overnight camping jaunt, where it was just
us girls truly being rugged for we had to make do with what we could
grab in a matter of five minutes. I was amazed how much help I
needed because of where were taken to camp over night, and I had to
rely on the girls who with me more than I would have liked because of
all the dips and holes in the area, but all of the girls were so
sweet and helped me without making me feel like a burden. I treasure
the memory of those two weeks because as I said for the first time it
seemed as if I was treated just like everyone else, like I was
perfectly normal, and I also learned that it was okay to receive help
and that when I could, I could offer help to others.
When I was just a
few months shy of my 16th birthday, I got a job at my
local McDonald's. This was a wonderful experience for when I was
hired I was completely honest about my having CMT, actually hoping
they weren't going to hire me, for my parents thought it would be a
good idea for me to get a job but I felt that my parents should
provide everything including spending money upon demand, so I really
didn't want to work. So here my Mom drove me to McDonald's, (for my
parents thought it was time for me to earn my own spending money), in
order to fill out a job application and surprisingly enough I had an
interview then and there. Even knowing that I had CMT I was hired
then and there after a short discussion with the store manager I was
hired on with the understanding that I would have to speak up if
something was beyond my ability but otherwise I would be expected to
do everything my job would require.
I must admit, and
even admitted it then, that my parents had a wonderful understanding
and wisdom in making me get a job for it was really one of the
greatest things that happened to me for it was a time when I grew up
basically. I was still angry a lot of times, but there was something
more with the job, for I was accepted and expected to do certain
things. I still remember my store manager, Jerry and assistant
manager Pat for it was these two guys who, other than my parents who
I wasn't listening to much of time at that point in time like a
typical teenager, helped me learn to reach up and beyond the
expectations of me. I had a responsibility to my job and there was
no excuses allowed in not completing my responsibilities if it was
within my reach, and if it was beyond what I could do then I was
expected to say so or get help. My CMT was not an excuse I could use
just to get out of doing something that I may not have liked, or when
I felt like being lazy. Actually I don't remember ever being allowed
to use my CMT as an excuse for not doing something for I had a mouth
and could use it to ask for help from someone for we all need help
sometimes.
The people with whom
I worked with didn't treat me any differently than anyone else, and
those who did treat me differently at one point, now treated me just
like anyone else. I finally had somewhat of a normal teenage years
for I worked hard, tried to study hard (I hated school so it was an
up and down thing with studying for sometimes I would work hard then
other times I would get lazy), and played hard, just like any
teenager. Because of my job I learned that I could indeed learn to
do almost any job put in front of me and I did it with determination
which allowed me to rise up to being a shift manager by the time I
was only 20 years old.
Work was something I
worried that I would never be able to do because at this time I still
wasn't well educated in what CMT was or all the variants that could
be a part of CMT. I remember one doctor telling me that by the time
I was 25 years old I would be in a wheelchair permanently so with
that being the case was work going to be a part of my life which is
why I worried about never being able to get a job. Also because of
my CMT I worried that I would never find a job that would be
something that I could do let alone enjoy it as I did my job with
McDonald's. I truly loved working there and not because it was
something that everyone did but because it was something that made me
feel as if I was giving back to society in a small way.
I would have to say
that it was my extracurricular activities with Girl Scouts and
working that taught me more about life outside of my CMT limitations.
They taught me to be myself and that not everyone was the same
because I could accepted for who I was with the CMT. With school I
learned that I could make my own decisions in regards to my health
and CMT while I learned with my extracurricular activities to be
myself. I may not be the same as everyone else but then again who is
just like another person. I could be just who I am with accepting my
limits and it is okay to ask for help when it is needed.
To be honest I
didn't stop being angry for I was angry about having the CMT for
sometime it seems. I may have been learning some valuable lessons
along but I still didn't like that I couldn't wear pretty shoes. I
didn't like that I had to ask for help when it seemed that everyone
else could do things on their own, even though I understood that I
should ask for the help. I was angry that it seemed as if things
were getting progressively got worse with my feet, for I even broke a
bone in my foot and didn't know it until I had an x-ray a week later.
How can a person be happy when things just seem to be going downhill
like that and at the time I wasn't. I worked hard sure, I had time
with friends without a doubt, but I was still limited in what I could
do. I hated my CMT and the limitations it placed on me. Though I
was angry without a doubt but I hope that it wasn't really noticeable
to all those around me or if it did then thankfully they just
accepted me for who I was.
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